I’ve said yes to dates that I was lukewarm on because I have told myself that, as a relationship coach, I have to have relationships, because I tell myself I shouldn’t introvert forever. I’ve said yes to a date because I hope I might find that ‘one’ true soulmate, still. Because I don’t want anyone to know the internal labarynth I traverse to feel intimacy. Because I want to prove I can be one of the cool cats at the sex party. I’ve said yes to sex because I seek pleasure that will erase the pain. I’ve said yes to snuggles with strangers who clearly wanted more than snuggles because any kind of connection seemed better than no connection. I’ve said yes to having my photo taken because I hope I might find out I am beautiful. I’ve said yes to kisses because I was lonely, because I was horny, because I was trying to get over someone, because I was in pain, because I wanted a distraction, because I wanted to feel attractive, because I wanted to feel powerful. I’ve said yes to drinks because I yearn for social inclusion and to fit in. I’ve said yes to threesomes because I’ve wanted more time with a partner, even tho I wasnt so into the third person. I said yes to not sleeping with other men when we talked about an open relationship because I didnt want him to feel inferior. I said yes to marrying my boyfriend because I was afraid that my life was going nowhere and I thought it would prove I could be a successful grown up. Today, I share some recent reflections on this radical journey.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |